*I originally shared this on my blog in January 2013.*
I meet so many fascinating people from diverse and varied backgrounds in my seminary classes. Recently, I was amazed by the testimony of a woman in my class. Particularly how her work in a physics lab was the breakthrough that led to her conversion to Christianity!
Zhangfen was born in China and came to the US in 1989 for graduate school. She studied physics during her undergraduate years and two more years during graduate studies, and then transferred to the electrical engineering field. She has worked in this field for 19 years now. Zhangfen still resides in the US, is married, and has a teenage son. Thanks for allowing me to share it on my blog Zhangfen.
In her own words, here is Zhangfen’s testimony:
During the years I grew up in mainland China, all the education I received was atheist education. When I was a little girl, I was a true believer of communism. As I grew older, I encountered many situations that contradicted what I had believed. As China’s economic reform got deeper and deeper, more and more people became money orientated. What I had seen from reality was a total opposite of what they had taught us in school. I finally gave up on communism, and instead became very skeptical and believed in myself only.
Soon after I came to US for graduate school, I met several people, both Americans and Chinese, who consistently invited me to church activities. I started to join these activities organized by different churches, partially for free meals, and partially as part of American culture education. As I kept eating free food at different churches, I felt obligated to attend more church activities, and finally, Bible study.
Bible study sessions were difficult ones for me to go through. The format of the study and the personal application discussions reminded me so much about the political study sessions I had in China. These political study sessions were mandatory, and were held weekly for many years in China. The materials for study were prepared by local communist unit, and everybody had to state how he or she was going to apply what was studied to his or her daily life. As not many people believed in communism any more, the whole study was painful for many people as they had to say something that they did not mean, that is, most people had to lie during these study sessions. As I sat in Bible study sessions, I asked myself, “What am I doing here? I got enough in China, and now finally I am in the free world, and I am sitting in this kind of sessions again.”
I tried to avoid Bible study sessions. However, the people who brought me to churches were too nice to let them down, so I told them that I will read the Bible by myself. During the next period of time, I stopped going to churches. I occasionally read some Bible. As I read through the first book, Genesis, I feel that the Bible was not much different from many of Chinese and other country’s myths, and could not believe that Christians are so naive to believe in such stories. I tried to read some of the other books. However, it was very hard for me to accept that there is a God who created everything.
Although I refused to believe that there is a God, God was at work in my life. The breakthrough of my journey came unexpectedly one late afternoon. When I was working in a scientific laboratory as part of my graduate study, I needed to use some physics to explain experiment results. As I was going through some basics of physics, something called ‘axiom’ or generally acknowledged truth hit me. I always believed in science and studied physics for several years. In physics, we tried to explain the physical world, and everything needs to be proved. Yet, these axioms, these self-evident truths have no proof, yet, many important theories and discoveries were based on them. Axiom was not new for me, however in that afternoon it hit me.
I started to think about God and His creation. It seemed to me that we cannot find proof for axiom because the origin of the physical world is God. In physics, we tried hard and may be able to answer how the world and the universe is the way it is, however, we cannot prove the origin. (Note: with more understandings from recent particle or high energy physics regarding the beginning of the universe, physics really do not deal with the origin. At time zero, it’s a singular point mathematically which has no physical meaning.)
My attitude toward the Bible changed dramatically after that afternoon. I started to read more and more Bible. The more I read, the more I felt that it makes sense. Particularly, the human sinful nature part, made so much sense to me, as I started to understand why communism was not a success, and cannot be a success. The whole communism system was so ideal for human beings, and got so many people excited for it, and many died for it in the history. Yet, after many countries tried it, all of them failed with huge costs.
With new understanding from the Bible, I started to understand the failure, because the whole theory which communism is based on, excluded human nature part, the sinful nature part. Indeed, human beings cannot save themselves. I decided to accept Jesus Christ as my personal Savior. I was baptized on June 27, 1993. Although there were some difficult moments from time to time, God has been faithful to me all my life.