Recently I’ve been reading through the book of Job in the Old Testament, and was rather amused by some of the snide remarks made between Job and his friends! For some reason, I’ve missed the sarcasm in the past. This time it really jumped out at me. I’ve never been a good thinker on my feet, and I thought of memorizing a few of the statements for ready verbal ammunition in the future. Of course, this is all in fun. And be sure to say these things in a dramatic, Shakespearean way!

Dealing with an arrogant person? Try this:

No doubt you are the people, And wisdom will die with you! (Job 12:2)

Dealing with a windbag? Try this:

Oh, that you would be silent, And it would be your wisdom! (Job 13:5)

How long will…the words of your mouth be like a strong wind? (Job 8:2)

Look at me and be astonished; Put your hand over your mouth. (Job 21:5)

Dealing with bad or unhelpful advice? Try this:

But you forgers of lies, you are all worthless physicians. (Job 13:4)

…Miserable comforters are you all! (Job 16:2)