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Last night I had the privilege to share the Gospel with someone. This person is living with me for the summer. Something I like about opening my home is that it can present natural opportunities to share my faith. (My spouse and I have international students live with us for weeks and months at a time.) Street evangelism or sharing Jesus with “strangers” or acquaintances in public does not work well for me. For one, I’m terrible at getting a conversation going in a spiritual direction. If I try to push a conversation that way, it typically ends up contrived, awkward, and nerve wracking! But when someone lives with you in your home, a whole variety of topics can naturally (and more comfortably) arise – spiritual and otherwise.
I envy believers who seem to successfully present the Gospel (or at least have a spiritual discussion) with their seat mate every time they fly on an airplane! The last few times I flew, I decided to attempt conversation with my seat mate but only about everyday things and not Christianity. I thought I needed to practice general conversation, and then perhaps at a future time the practice would help me get a conversation going about Christ. But no, I can’t even get a general conversation going. I’ve tried, and my seat mate makes it clear they want to be left alone and don’t want to chit-chat about anything! (Neither do I actually…)
I’m an introvert so I think that is part of my problem. Although I say problem, I actually don’t see it as a problem anymore! It seems like so many “evangelism methods” are geared towards extroverts, and as an introvert you can feel like a total failure. But I think introverts can be better at other types of evangelism, and our gifts can be overlooked and undervalued.
Introverts tend to be exceptional listeners, and simply being a listening ear for someone can open up doors. Introverts are usually careful and thoughtful thinkers. We don’t like superficial chit-chat (we detest it actually), and are better at in-depth discussion. We can be better at working with people who have deeper concerns. Maybe we have less Gospel sharing opportunities than the average extrovert, but God sends people our way who need more time spent with them and who are pondering serious issues in regards to faith.
I also have the old-fashioned hobby of postal letter writing and write “penpals” (such a juvenile term) from around the USA and world. I’ve had many opportunities to share my Christian faith over the years. This usually happens surprisingly naturally – as letters are exchanged back and forth. Postal communication is wonderful for an introvert as we can carefully and without pressure consider what we want to communicate. (Introverts need more time to think and process things, and can feel terribly pressured by spontaneous conversation.) I think introverts can excel at more indirect communication methods.
Perhaps some would say I am cowardly. I need to have more courage, get out of my comfort zone, trust God, and approach more people directly. Yes, there is some truth in that! We do need to stretch ourselves sometimes. Yet, it seems like only the introverts are expected to do this! How about pressuring extroverts to get involved in introverted evangelism styles?
Stop the superficial chit-chat extroverts! Will you please shut up? Instead of talking with everyone about everything, look for more intimate one-on-one conversational opportunities. Spend several hours in deep conversation with someone. Talk less and listen more. How about picking up a pen and developing a friendship through letter writing? You can do it! Step out of your comfort zone! Don’t you trust God?
(Disclaimer: I’m speaking in generalities to make a point. I realize not all extroverts and introverts are the same. I’m not insinuating that extroverts never have deeper conversations. Etc. But can’t we try to value the gifts of others, instead of making them feel defective and forcing them to try things that are against their natural inclinations?)
(forgive me if this is the second time this posts. I wrote a comment and our internet crashed while it was “sending’)
Laura, I appreciate what you have written about a more relational, hospitality-based, listening-accented way of sharing your faith, and am so glad you had the privilege of sharing with someone this week. We have also found that long conversations around a meal, in our home often open up opportunities we would never otherwise have had. As an extrovert, though, this post was hard to read. Even as an extrovert, I have found that deep friendships with lots of listening are more “natural” and more effective. As an extrovert, I ALSO hate superficial chit chat. Even with the softening of your final paragraph, your second to last paragraph makes it seem that extroverts are people who are naturally bombastic – those who love the sounds of their own voice rather than those who are energized by being around people. I am sure you did not mean it insultingly, and I do take your point – but I wanted to say that I think your experience of what “works” and “feels natural” as an introvert is also true for me as an extrovert. I too have balked at the “share your faith with a total stranger on a plane” type of pressure. The best evanglism is faithful witness in the relaitonships (and communication styles) we ALREADY are in. Faithful to Jesus, and faithful to who and how he has made us. Thanks too for the reminder of penpals… speaking of which, I owe someone a letter 🙂
Thanks for your comments Bronwyn. It is good to hear your perspective as an extrovert. Certainly I agree that not all introverts and extroverts can be put in boxes, and some people are a blend of both. Perhaps a little context will explain the second to last paragraph. Introverts (also known as shy, quiet, etc) go through life hearing things like this said to them: “You are too serious”, “You need to lighten up”, “Why are you so quiet?”, etc. Some people even like to purposely put us on the spot to force us to be more outgoing, and this is deeply mortifying to us. We are made to feel defective, and rarely are our traits treated positively. So I guess I decided to turn the tables and criticize the extroverts for once! Shut up and be quiet, etc! : ) My intent was not to offend but use dry humor and exaggeration to make a point. I think your closing thoughts are the point I was ultimately trying to get at: “The best evangelism is faithful witness in the relationships (and communication styles) we ALREADY are in. Faithful to Jesus, and faithful to who and how he has made us.” – Amen!!
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Laura, I loved this and it resonates well with me. I have intentionally put off the evangelism class to my last semester because of my concerns of forced, superficial and awkward evangelistic approaches. Sometimes we can come off as used car salesman. Not sure that’s what evangelism is about.
Thanks Lisa. Yes, I put off that evangelism class too! I blog a little more about it in another post. It was a good review of the Gospel, and helpful to be reminded of the core, simple truths of our faith – and for that I am appreciative, especially as my seminary studies came to a close. But I did not enjoy the class at all and found it highly stressful…
I really enjoyed your article too! I also find that there is a push in PREACHING THE GOSPEL in a LOUD and ANNOYING way, that only turns people off; to the heart of Jesus. And this maybe disturbing to my fellow Christians…but I find that PRAYING for someone, in my head, is more effective than anything talking can do. Why? Because ultimately Christ finds us. And no amount of brain-washing by blabbing on and on will bring us nearer to the light. And I would just like to point out that Mary, the mother of Jesus and Mary Magdalene, as well as many others, seem to have very strong introverted personality types. Thank you again for your article.
Thanks for your comment. We definitely don’t devote as much time to prayer as we should when it comes to evangelism.
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